For years, I spent time reflecting on the meaning of my sensual and sexual self and how it directly related to my confidence, my worthiness and myself within a relationship.
I’ve witnessed myself and others exploiting their sexuality in search of ways to feel better.
In my early 20s, I found myself in sexual bliss one moment, only to be followed by intense feelings of guilt, shame, loneliness and a lack of control. The last 15 years have been a journey of stepping fully into my sexual power, integrating it with my spirituality, and creating a life that's TURNED the FUCK ON.
I grew up being overweight. Around the time my parents divorced at age 7, I started creating weird habits around food. The year before high school and I was tipping the scale at 200lbs. At 5’2 this was a lot of weight on my body and I didn’t understand why. I had been a gymnast when I was young but I became frustrated and quit. I didn’t understand my body. I had zero connection to her, other than she was a problem for me. I was told that my body wasn’t okay and this is the relationship with myself I built, at a very young age.
That summer, I ordered a diet pill off an infomercial, and it came with a diet booklet to follow. My mom helped me follow that diet. That summer I lost 20 pounds.
The success of my weight loss gave me motivation to learn more about nutrition and my body. I enrolled in weight training as one of my electives to understand myself more. But I didn’t feel in control, I didn’t feel a real sense of self or connection to my body. It slowly created The Punishment Cycle.
A cycle I finally quit but it wasn’t before I experimented with various eating disorders while in acting school (hello binge and purge) and trying to be “skinny enough” in LA.
I lost all my confidence. I spent time exploring lovers while feeling inadequate about myself. I experimented having sex fueled by false alcohol liberation and dating dudes that didn’t treat me well or mistreating the good guys that did. On top of it all, I continued staying in abusive jobs that led to self-sabotaging my health and wellbeing for years.
Feeling good was always temporary and wouldn’t last because it was built on top of goals that didn’t really heal my root issues. I didn’t feel worthy of my own successes. I couldn’t meet the goals I deeply wanted for myself. I felt broken.
Does this cycle sound familiar?
This is what I call Self Body Trauma vs. Self Body Trust.
This is a circumstantial type of love. IF I do these things then, I’ll love my body. If I look a certain way, I deserve to love myself.
Choosing to self-accept without any criteria is how we build self-respect. Self-compassion is what allows you to BREAK the cycle of hating yourself and hating your body. Self-trust is when we show up for ourselves over and over again in ways that feel supportive for where our body is.
You are strong. You can unearth what inner self-love feels like. You can break the awful cycles and for once and for all.
I cracked this code and I’m here to show you how!
I received my Sex, Love and Relationship Coaching Certification through Layla Martin’s Tantric Institute of Integrated Sexuality. This 600-hour program with the VITA method, is the most advanced sexual education available today. Layla’s unique program was developed to teach coaches how to do the hard work themselves first. I know this work works. I know it will change your life, because it literally saved mine.
My extensive experience in health, my personal training background, my knowledge in nutrition, and the tantra inspired sexuality education I teach, allows for each client to receive an expansive transformational program. Achieve your ultimate goals and true deepest desires. When you choose to take care of yourself: emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually and sexually -- you move towards intimate self healing– the type of care, support and nurturing, that feels so juicy to receive.
The love and intimacy, only we give ourselves.
This is The Tantra Queen Method™️.