S.ex, isn’t s.exy for everyone
For some it’s an awful experience. It can be extremely painful or unpleasant. It can bring back terrible nightmares and it can activate deep rooted memories that someone is not trying to remember. It can hurt. I can be sad. It can be a stressful, anxious experience.
Most of this pain and discomfort stems in the brain. It can be because of the mental disconnections and / or it can be because the body is not in a surrendered enough state to receive pleasure.
What do I mean by this?
To regulate pleasure, it’s imperative to be able to slow down. So this can look like breathing, meditating and allowing your body to go into a surrendered state.
To be able to go into a surrender state, you have to feel safe enough to let go.
To feel safe enough to let go, you have to feel in self trust and self safety.
I often find self trust and self safety are built through boundaries, self advocacy and self care + responsibility (some of the pillars that create self love).
And to build these things up enough to give yourself the foundation of feeling safe, you need consistent practice and processes.
When we are not taking care of ourselves, when we lack hired support, when we are just trying to roll through life like we’re okay…our bodies tend to be in a stress response state.
Do you feel anxious for hours while trying to go to bed?
Do you procrastinate things that feel hard or overwhelming to the point where they become a problem?
Do you swing between intensely stress and depression?
Do you struggle to stay focused and you think it could be ADD or ADHD but really your body just has no level of chill?
When we rarely practice going into a surrendered state, when we lack the tools to create the sensation of safety inside our bodies, they are consistently in overdrive, chaotic and racing energy. Our bodies don’t know how to feel safe, surrender or be present.
And I’m here to ask you, before you plaster some type of diagnosis on it:
Are you practicing surrendered states of energy?
Do you intentionally spend time in silence daily?
Do you have tools and practices to ground yourself?
Are you drinking alcohol, smoking weed or doing other drugs?
What’s your relationship like to difficult dynamics?
Are you moving your body, getting plenty of water and eating a veggie forward diet?
How’s your sleep?
This is the difference between western medicine (slapping a diagnosis and prescribing drugs) vs. a holistic approach. I look at the whole picture. I understand the whole case. I go back to the root issues and break it down into something digestible.
And by doing so, I can make s.ex, s.exy for everyone. And do me, that doesn’t necessarily mean intercourse. It can mean feeling good in a slinky dress, it can mean feeling confident enough to wear a bikini, it can mean feeling good enough to make the moves on that woman from the gym... our s.exual health is as equally as important as any other health system.
Want to dig deeper into your diagnosis? Want to see if there’s more for you other than medication? Want to understand if maybe you just need some holistic health up in yo’ life?!
Here for you, Kings + Queens.
I work with men, women and couples. Only one spots left for my 2:1 work, waitlist for 1:1. DM me ;)
Visit here to book a call!!
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